Thursday, March 5, 2009

Cinder

Cinder
January 11, 1996 - March 3, 2009
How can a few words express my love for you? How can I use only words to describe 13 years of loyalty and love? From the first day we brought you home, you were a trooper. You had a rare disease, and it took us several weeks of vet visits to figure it out, but we got you all fixed up. After we had you with us for 4 weeks, the breeder wanted us to take you back and trade you in. We refused.One of my first memories was taking you for a walk along the Ottawa River. It was very cold and windy. You walked so closely behind John that he kept clipping your chin with his heel as he walked. You trucked along and never gave up. You were a wonderful family dog. First with Cody, then with grandchildren. You never complained when they grabbed you or sat on you. Never a growl or a snap. Sometimes a sigh.When you were one year old you had both hind legs operated on. You couldn't run and play with other dogs, but you had your big sister Bailey to walk with.You wore silly hats for us every Canada Day.You joined us on family vacations, and let the cat snuggle next to your tummy for 18 hours on a trip to Cape Breton.You loved to walk yourself with your own leash in your mouth. After a while, you'd spit it out and let us take it for you. You loved car rides and sticking your head out the window.And when Mulligan joined us, you were a great big sister. You were the enforcer of the pack and always kept the others in line with your great big bark.You loved to swim. You'd fetch a stick until we got too tired to throw it.
And then something wonderful happened. We discovered a natural diet for dogs. After a few weeks on a natural diet, you could run and play. You were like a puppy with your new freedom.You loved to roll on your back in the grass. Every spring and fall I'd complain as I had to brush off all the dead grass from you. Then in the winter, I'd complain about all the snow you brought in.You were a great big dog with a great big bark and a big, big heart. You were my best employee for ten years when I owned a dog biscuit company. You loved to taste test, and you kept me company in the cold garage when I packed bags of biscuits.You loved to cuddle.And the years went by. And your eyes got cloudy. You got confused sometimes. But you loved to eat. You would bark and bark at meal time and drive me crazy.
When your legs didn't work right you would look at us with fright in your eyes. We'd hold you up to steady you. You trusted us.
And then your eyes weren't happy anymore. We took you for one last walk. And one last car ride. You couldn't stand up for your car ride, but rested your chin on the seat and looked out the front window.We went into the room at the vet's office. You laid on the floor with your head in John's lap and we whispered in your ear. We love you. We love you. Good bye, my Doo Dog. Who will fix this hole in my heart?

Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner. All is well.
from "September" by Rosamunde Pilcher

12 comments:

aliceinparis said...

Oh dear, my heart goes out to you:((( We had to do that with our big Rhodesian Ridgeback three years ago. It is SO hard. So many tears. I know Cinders will be missed. What a lovely tribute to him.
I LOVE that quote at the bottom..always have, it is SO true. Death is nothing at all..... It was written by Canon Henry Scott Holland and delivered as part of the sermon in May 1910 following the death of King Edward VII.

sabrina said...

Sara,
I am so sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you. I just lost my beautiful boy Kramer to cancer 3 weeks ago so I understand the heartbreak. I know there are no words to console you right now but I wanted to reach out and let you know you are in my thoughts!!
warm wishes
sabrina

Angelique said...

Sara, I'm sooo sorry. What a beautiful tribute. Cinder was so blessed to have such a wonderful, caring and loving family. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Bonz said...

Sara- I was so sorry to read about Cinder. I have had to go through this many times and it never gets any easier. Just try and remember all the good times.

Bonnie

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful homage to Cinder! We loved her very much! She was such a gentle giant. She was the only dog next to Maxine that I fully trusted with Miss M.
She will ne missed.
We love you Cinder! woof.
DIL
xo

Jennifer said...

Oh, Sara.
I'm so, so sorry.
What a good life you gave her. And what joy she gave you and your family.
You did the right thing for her.
(((hugs)))

Hilary said...

Hi Sara
My thoughts are with you and your family. Cinder sounds beautiful - you've written a very moving piece. She'll be sadly missed I'm sure.

Marsanne Petty said...

I am so sorry for your loss - I am not sure that I could move on if I were to lose my little girl. It sounds like Cinder was a huge part of your life, and only time can help heal the pain that his loss has brought. My prayers are with you and your family.

Grant said...

Sara

I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you.

Christine said...

Sara, John and Cody.
Nothing I can say will make you feel better. When they leave us they do leave a hole in our hearts. That hole will always be there, but it hurts a little less as time goes by.
I was honored to meet your girls and I know that Cinder was as lucky to have you as you were to have her.

PawsN2Stamp said...

Hi Sara,

I came online to see if you had received your flip flop album yet and found this post. I am so sorry!!!! It had me in tears as we lost our 14 year old cat, Briley, last week.

I wish I could give you a big hug....I know how much our pets mean to us...they are part of the family.

If/when you have time and feel up to it, could you let me know if your album has arrived?

Hugs,
Char
Oregon

Natalie said...

So sorry for your loss Sara. She was obviously loved very much and had a wonderful life.